


It's Not Living If It's Not With You

by Whittakerjodie



Series: 13th Doctor X Reader [10]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, F/F, Heavy Angst, blood tw, depictions of violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-26
Updated: 2020-03-26
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:22:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23328463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whittakerjodie/pseuds/Whittakerjodie
Summary: After a close-encounter with death, the Doctor has to patch you up and consider her next course of action to keep you safe.
Relationships: Thirteenth Doctor/Reader
Series: 13th Doctor X Reader [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1613002
Comments: 5
Kudos: 43





	It's Not Living If It's Not With You

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally posted on my tumblr, Whittakerjodie. Also i'm uploading this late. Tsk tsk.

_Ba-dum ba-dum ba-dum ba-dum_

Your heartbeat screamed in your ear, pushed by adrenaline and fear. This is exactly what you had been suspecting all evening. Taulki, the alien guard you’d met first thing, was working for the same group invading the planet. It got increasingly obvious as time went on, with him constantly undermining the Doctor’s ideas and disappearing at random moments. Now here he was, having separated you from the group, pointing his gun at your chest. 

“I know you were with the Doctor when she hid the General. Where is he” It was a growl, low and dangerous, as he stepped closer to you. unfortunately , you could not step back; less than two steps behind you was the edge of a rather large drop, one leading directly into a purple sea you would rather not find yourself in. 

“I’m not going to tell you, Taulki. Why are you doing this?” 

“Do you know how long they have been taking over my planet?” He snarled. The barrel of his gun was pressed against your pounding heart, his finger resting on the trigger. “How long we have waited, in the shadows, to take it back?” 

“I don’t but I _promise_ , if you let me get the Doctor, she can help you. It doesn’t have to be this way” Taulki shook his head, the stripes covering his skin lighting up bright orange. He laughed dryly, lowering his gun. 

“You’re not even from this planet. Neither is she. Don’t you _**dare**_ give me an empty promise, not when I’ve dedicated my whole life to this. One last chance. Where is the general?” 

_Come on Doctor, please,_ you begged inwardly. She had to have noticed your absence by now. Surely she’d find you here, seconds away from death, and save the day. She had to; that’s what she did. Chin wobbling, you tried to square your shoulders to seem unbothered. 

“I can’t do that, Taulki.” The alien nodded, eyes narrowing. You knew what was about to happen and yet, it still took you by surprise when he raised his gun once more and shot you in the stomach. The pain didn’t fully register; in fact, you stared down at the wound incredulously, hands covering it as blood began to seep out. Shocked, you took a step back, only for the ground to disappear under your feet. It wasn’t the ground’s fault, though; you’d merely stepped off the ledge. 

You jumped forward in an attempt to balance yourself but in the millisecond of struggling Taulki reached forward to push you the rest of the way, sending you tumbling. Your mind only grasped onto a few seconds of flashing scenery, sharp underbrush, and all-encompassing pain before it let you go. 

* * *

When you came to, the pain had not left you. It flowed through your veins, making your body throb and ache in every bone. You were certain that before this moment, you didn’t truly know what pain was. A loud groan escaped your mouth followed by a hiss as you dried to drag in air. 

‘Careful- careful just. _Be careful_ ” The Doctor? 

“Doctor..?” You whimpered. Eyes opened to a blinding light and shut again, trying to make sense of what was happening. 

“Don’t talk, just relax” She was _begging_. Your ears were starting to accept noise. All you could hear was beeping, rustling, and panicked breathing that was not your own. 

“What happened-” You began. You were interrupted by your own coughing, panicking as you felt blood travel up your throat. Nothing could stop it; as you coughed it came up, splattering against your skin. It was warm, and you realized the same warm sensation was all over your lower half, making your clothes stick to your skin. Oh god. You were bleeding. And _Bad._ You were also wet, too, and freezing. 

That was right; you’d been shot. And you’d fallen, too, something that probably caused all the other pain you could feel in all of your limbs. How had the Doctor found you and gotten you out of the sea? A sharp stinging sensation made itself known near your hand, and you realized the Doctor was treating you. Mind hazy from pain and what you assumed was a mild sedative, you laughed. 

Despite more blood travelling up your throat you managed to croak. “It’s funny kind of” 

The Doctor being a doctor. You laughed again and then cried out in pain as a tremor rocked through your body. Unable to stop yourself from writhing you let the Doctor do the job, her hands frantically trying to keep you still. 

“Please, y/n” Was she crying? “ _Please_ just sit still. I’m trying to help you but…” 

Your mind trailed off again, tendrils of darkness dragging you away from the Doctor. _No no no!_ you protested, but it was too late. 

* * *

The second time you woke up, you were thankful to find that most of the pain had subsided. Your senses returned to you much easier than the last time as well. The bed underneath you was soft, the needles and IV’s in your skin were sharp and uncomfortable. There was still a soft ache in your abdomen and legs, but you no longer felt like you were drenched in sweat and your own blood. There was still beeping, likely a heart monitor of some sort. You could also hear breathing; it was no longer quick and panicked, but it was still shaky. Your mouth tasted like you’d just swallowed liquid metal, and you winced. 

“Don’t move, alright?” The Doctor’s hands were on you again, softly holding your shoulders so you didn’t attempt to get up. Behind your eyelids you could see some of the brightness recede and when you opened them, she was standing above you, blocking out the light. 

Her face was shriveled with concern, eyes glistening. You wanted to reach up and comfort her but per Doctor’s orders, you didn’t move. She tucked your hair behind your ear, then pressed a cool washcloth to your forehead. You sighed as it helped relax you, taking away your focus from the throbbing pain that was beginning to creep back up on you. 

“I managed to patch the wound and clean up your cuts and scrapes but… it’ll be awhile before you can go on any adventures again. “It’ll just-” Your shoulders started to tremble and you realized it was because they were shaking in her grip. Her breathing picked up again, and a tear fell onto your cheek. She wiped it away quickly and turned her back to you. 

“Doctor, it’s alright” You murmured. You hated seeing her like this; shrunken and sad and scared, almost. Her head hung low, blonde locks obscuring any view of her face you could’ve hoped to grasp onto. 

“I’m taking you home,” She said suddenly. 

Ignoring the Doctors orders you jumped up, mouth dropping open. “What?” You exclaimed, before you even processed what she’d said. When it hit you, your surprise increased tenfold, followed by waves of desperation. “No. No, no, Doctor you _can’t-_ ” 

“Yes, I can, and I will. I have to” You grabbed onto her hand and she ripped it away, gasping. “ _I have to.”_

“Why?” You asked, voice cracking. She couldn’t just _leave_ you. Not after all you’d been through and seen together. Traveling in the TARDIS was your life now. It couldn’t just be ripped away cold turkey like she was proposing. 

“Because this always happens, doesn’t it?” She exclaimed. You winced at the sudden loud tone, causing more tears to stream down your cheeks. 

“Doc-” 

“No, this _always_ happens. I always do this. I- I always drag you a lot along and no matter how much fun we have no matter how much I _love_ you all… this always happens. I can’t do this again, I _won’t._ “ 

The second time you grabbed her hand, she was shaking too much to stop you. You squeezed it tightly, ignoring the strain on your tense muscles. 

“Doctor please. Please don’t take me home. “ You hoped that your voice would convince her, desperate not to have the greatest part of your life taken away. She raised your hand to her lips, kissing the back of it for a long, long moment. 

“I don’t know how else to keep you safe.” She whispered. You scoffed. 

“I signed up for this, Doctor. I agreed to travel with you. I knew the risks.” 

“That’s what all of them said.” She crumpled a little, sitting on the floor out of sight except for her hand, which was still clutched in your own. 

You let yourself lay back down, thankful for less weight on your shoulders. The Doctor always alluded to other companions and other family, but seldom talked about them. In her eyes was a constant sorrow. It had many layers; thousands of them, accumulated over thousands of years. If you prompted her to talk about them, would you even be able to scratch the surface? Could you ever truly understand? 

Thumb absentmindedly brushing against her knuckles you broke the silence. “I can’t speak for anyone else, Doctor, and I can’t pretend like I understand or know all that’s happened to you. All I can do is make sure that you know… I love this life. I love _you_. And yes, maybe we can’t always stop the bad things from happening but we can damn well keep going just for the sake of the good ones.” 

When you were done your breath left you in a shaky gasp, the heart monitor picking up. The Doctor quickly shot up again, checking over everything. Tears were drying against her cheeks, eyebrows furrowed. 

“Doctor, I meant that. Every word of it.” 

“I know, I know” She whispered softly. But, even as she busied herself with making sure you were comfortable, you weren’t sure she was convinced.


End file.
